Wednesday, August 26, 2015

When Tube Sausage Casing Attacks

Guess what came in the mail...
Cue the Jaws theme song....nah nah, nah, nah
An online swimsuit order....eeeeeek
Now let me start off by saying, I am fairly comfortable in a swimsuit.
GOD gave me this body, stretch marks, curves and all.
BUT...why do swimsuit designers insist that fashion and functionality cannot be done in one suit?
I swear, one sneeze and it is all over folks! Total wardrobe malfunction. 
Now I could go spend half my life savings on a swimsuit top, but geez, I should not have to spend more than a car payment on one article of clothing...and that piece of clothing doesn't even have that much fabric.
AND NO, the swimsuit on the bag was not what I ordered, because honestly one jump into the ocean and that swimsuit top would be toast.
Needless to say, I will be returning my ill designed "tube sausage casing" of a swimsuit.
Someone get me my moo moo.

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